armywife79's Blogs

PUNISHMENT FOR ENJOYING SEX!

2. DEFINE TRANSVESTITE.

A GUY WHO LIKE TO EAT, DRINK AND BE MARY

3. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE POPE AND YOUR BOSS?

THE POPE ONLY EXPECTS YOU TO KISS HIS RING.

4. MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING-ONE BRILLIANY FLASH AND IT'S GONE.

5. THE ONLY TIME THE WORLD BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR

IS IF YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM.

6. I HATE SEX AND THE MOVIES-I TRIED IT ONCE AND THE SEAT

FOLDED UP.

7. IT USED TO BE ONLY DEATH AND TAXES WERE INEVITABLE

NOW OF COURSE THERE'S SHIPPING AND HANDLEING TOO

8. A HUSBAND IS SOMEONE WHO TAKES OUT THE TRASH AND

GIVES THE IMPRESSION HE JUST CLEANED THE WHOLE HOUSE

9. MY NEXT HOUSE WILL HAVE NO KITCHEN-JUST VENDING MACHINES

10. THE ONLY THING WRONG WITH A PERFECT DRIVE TO WORK

IS THAT YOU END UP AT WORK

11. AMERICANS ARE GETTING STRONGER. TWENTY YEARS AGO

IT TOOK 2 PEOPLE TO CARRY 10 DOLLARS WORTH OF GROCERIES

TODAY A 5 YEAR OLD CAN DO IT.

12. A BLONDE TOLD HER FRIEND, "I WAS WORRIED THAT MY MECHANIC

MIGHT TRY TO RIP ME OFF, SO I WAS RELIEVED WHEN HE TOLD ME ALL I NEEDED WAS BLINKER FLUID."

13. WHY IS A GOVERNMENT WORKER LIKE A SHOT GUN WITH A BROKEN FIRING PIN? IT WONT WORK AND YOU CAN'T FIRE IT.

14. I'M SO DEPRESSED...I WENT TO THE DR. TODAY AND HE REFUSED TO WRITE ME A PERSCRIPTION FOR VIAGRA. SAID IT WOULD BE LIKE PUTTING A NEW FLAG POLE ON A CONDEMNED BUILDING.

15. A NEIGHBOR OF MINE WAS BIT BY A STRAY RABID DOG. I WENT TO SEE HOW HE WAS AND FOUND HIM WRITING FURIOUSLY. I TOLD HIM RABIES COULD BE CURED AND HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A WILL. HE SAID WILL, WHAT WILL?....I'M MAKING A LIST OF PEOPLE I'M GONNA BITE!!