MaryBeth's Blogs

Starting over after fifty? That brings us to the question of how do we protect ourselves from a new relationship? Is being protective actually being selfish?

I would like to share some experiences and schools of thought about this subject.

A widowed lady from our town fell for a man ten years younger than herself.  She was so flattered over his affectionate nature that she began to trust him, even to add his name as a signer on her checkbook.  After many months, she knew his love was true because he never wrote a check without her knowledge.  That was a real test of trust in her mind.  He later became interested in "beginning his own business" and encouraged her to help him establish.  She agreed and transfered funds to checking to begin his business.  Close to a hundred thousand was the amount.  On one cold winter morning, he left to take care of finding a building to begin his new business.  He never came back and all of her money was withdrawn.  Her son got involved to try to help her, but because she willingly gave her new love the money, the police did not prosecute.  Eventually, she had a nervous breakdown. 

Being married for thirty years, I probably shouldn't worry about this.  Life is uncertain, even for me.  My husband has suffered two heart attacks and now has a pacemaker.  While it is true that I could be the first to die, I wonder how either of us could protect ourselves.

Maybe the best time to talk pre-nup is when you first meet.  I know another widowed lady who met her husband at sixty.  They were married and the first thing they did was transfer her home into her son's name.  This eliminated any conflicts or fears the son might would have as to whether he was after his mother's money.  The son would eventually be entitled to inherit the property anyway, it was reasoned.  Needless to say, this  paved the way for a good relationship with the son.  

Personally, I feel that I can't start over at fifty to become financially secure. and would never be willing to put myself in danger of doing so, nor would I expect anyone else to do the same.

That's my take on this subject.  What is yours? Tell me what you really think!